For as long as I can remember, or since I've been of legal drinking age, St. Patrick's Day has been one of my favorite holidays. Not only do I get to wear my favorite color, but I also get to speak in a horrible Irish accent and drink my way into oblivion until I see wee little Irish men with gold and double rainbows. This year I have taken it upon myself to brush up on some Irish fun facts and history of this beloved alcoholiday so I can give you some tips on the proper way to celebrate.
1) Go green! While it would be nice to tell everyone to recycle all the beer bottles and cans ye shall consume on this historical day, I’m referring to wardrobe choices. Whether it's a kilt or the obnoxious "Kiss me, I'm Irish" shirt, I shouldn't have to say this as it's a given. Almost everyone looks good in green, except for gingers… the poor kids. It's a custom to wear this earthy tone because it represents the color of the shamrock that was, as Wikipedia tells me, used by Saint Patrick himself to explain the holy trinity to the pagan Irish. Ironic that the day America uses to commend this Saint is now a time for revelry and drunken shenanigans, but I love wearing some tacky shamrock sunglasses and green glitter while I get my drink on.
2) Speaking of green, make sure to tip your bartenders! We have said this before on here, but it's always worth saying again. It's no surprise that TriCitiesNights.com is a big fan of keeping these guys happy because if they are happy, you are happy. Also, unless they find a leprechaun with a big ole pot of gold, they work harder for the money than Donna Summer did in 1983.
3) Guys: Use the corny line, "Are you from Ireland? Because when I look at you my penis is Dublin…" If I were a single guy, I would totally use this pickup line on the off chance it might actually work. However, if the cheesy pick up line fails, it could at least get a conversation started about heritage, that is, if the girl doesn't throw her green beer in your face first. Even if you don't actually know if your roots stem back to the third largest island in Europe, rest assured the largest number of people of Irish descent live in the United States, which is about ten times more than in Ireland itself. So it's a pretty safe bet that you could get away with saying you've got a little Irish in ya. (And no thank you, I would not like any in me…)
4) When the clock strikes beer thirty on March 17, 2012, skip the green beer. I know it may be tempting with cheap drink specials, but green teeth aren’t tempting to the person you're trying to impress. Also, that lime pint will most likely be the watered down, tasteless beer you usually avoid at all other times. If you really want to embrace the Irish Spirit, order a Jameson Ginger or go for the Irish car bombs instead. Other acceptable beverages for your blimey booze fest include Guinness or a local brewed Irish style stout like Depot Street's Roundabout Stout (my personal favorite). And if you're really good, you'll have found some poteen (Irish Moonshine) to whet your whistle.
5) Before the pre-gaming begins, do yourself a favor and get something in that belly to soak up all the alcohol you'll be hammering down later. What better food to commemorate the day than a potato? If you are suffering your own potato famine, a reasonable substitute is Lucky Charms. When it comes to preparing your stomach for a long night of drinking, carbs are your best friend. In terms of nutrition, the potato is best known for its carbohydrate content with about 26gr in a medium potato and a bowl Lucky Charms rivals that with 22gr in a single serving.
6) Finally, my blog post tips may be a bit redundant at times and you may have the luck of the Irish, but don't drive drunk!
Until next time, here is a traditional Irish toast:
"May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea. May it always be the other guy who says, "this drink's on me."